Is the Heart Missing?

I recently had a conversation with one of my child care moms about an interim director at her place of business.  There has been a large staff turnover in higher up management positions and she was telling me that the new director had held a meeting and wanted to talk about whatever questions the staff might have.   It was clear that people were not comfortable asking questions.  My child care mom is a strong person and wanted answers, so she asked one of the most burning ones - why did everyone leave?  The director addressed the question head on and a change in the room began.

As the meeting progressed my child care mom felt that the new interim director had something that was missing from the last director - heart.  She had empathy and compassion for the staff.  She genuinely wanted the staff to be happy in their job and happy in general.  My child care mom went on to say that it felt almost "freeing" after having been through the previous management style that didn't value employee happiness and satisfaction.

I have been a child care provider for the last 21 years.  In addition to being a child care provider, I am the state coordinator for the family child care network in my state and a trainer.  In my work with other providers I work hard to help them understand the important role they play in the lives of the families they serve and that child care is a profession.

My mom hit on one of the exact messages I try to convey to the providers I mentor and train.  That message is - if you put your whole heart into your child care program the dynamic of your child care program will change.  You can't run your child care program halfheartedly.  You can't have interactions and exchanges with the children in your care halfheartedly.  You can't build a relationship with the families in your program halfheartedly.  It has to be all or nothing to truly be successful. 

Now I know there are people out there that are going to say that if you give yourself wholeheartedly you will crash and burn.  That's where as a professional you have to find ways to fight burnout and stress and incorporate them into your daily routine.

As I was writing this blog post I was thinking about the years that I have felt totally satisfied as a provider and the ones I have not and I had yet another EPIPHANY!  The years that I felt less satisfied were years that I was not giving myself whole-heartedly to my program!

Were there reasons I wasn't giving myself wholeheartedly?  Yes.  Are there reasons we as providers do not go all out?  Of course.  In order to go all out that means we have to open ourselves up, heart and soul, to the families in our program and that leaves opportunity for us to be hurt or disappointed.  There are numerous factors that play a role in how much of ourselves we can put into our program at any given time.  We may be dealing with financial issues, or loss of a loved one, or confusion about our career choice, or a million other things.  What we need to remember is that as long as we are working in the child care profession we have to stay focused and give ourselves wholeheartedly for the good of ourselves and the children in our program.

Are you giving yourself wholeheartedly to your program?  Why or why not?  How do you as a provider make the families/children in your program care?  What do you do to show them that you care?  How do you show that they matter to you?  Do they matter to you?  Do you open yourself up to have an honest, open relationship with those in your program or is it  just "going through the motions?"  Do you actually care about the families in your program or are they simply a paycheck?