Epiphany or Exhaustion?



Do you ever feel like you are too tired to do child care anymore?  Be a parent anymore?  I went through a period of time thinking that.  A situation would arise and I would think to myself, "no big deal - no one's bleeding, there's no danger, does this really matter?" and I would let the situation unfold without intervention.  As time went on I noticed situations like this happening more and more frequently.  I began to think, "Wow have I just stopped caring?  Should I be looking for a new career?" and then one day I had an EPIPHANY!  It wasn't that I was too tired to intervene or worry about the situations, I had learned to appreciate the process vs. the product. 

Understanding the importance the process plays in child development is something all child care providers should know and incorporate into their programs.  It's important to watch for opportunities to let the children "drive the bus" (Note:  It's okay to let the children drive the bus :) but not the pigeon!    If you don't understand this statement let me know and I'll explain it because you are missing out!)

One of the most recent opportunities I had to let a child take the lead involved my grandson.  This is Rowan and he is one and a half.

 

 

The other night Rowan was drinking out of a large, tall water bottle.  After taking a few swigs he disappeared into the kitchen.  Moments later he returned with the water bottle and a small glass.  As his mom, dad and I watched he sat the glass down on my living room floor and quickly began to pour the water from the bottle into the glass.  Needless to say, gravity took over and the water came swooshing out, overshot the glass and made a puddle on the carpet.  He was so focused on the task at hand he didn't notice the puddle but readjusted the angle of the bottle and successfully filled the glass, handed the water bottle to his dad and took a drink from the glass.

 

At that moment he looked up at the three of us with a look of accomplishment on his face.  His dad went to the kitchen and brought back paper towels and started cleaning up the puddle.  As he watched his dad clean up the puddle the expression on his face became concerned.  It was clear to see he was starting to feel bad for what had happened.  In that split second I had the opportunity to celebrate his accomplishment and fuel his sense of accomplishment or I could intensify the sense of embarrassment and uncertainty that was building.  I decided to celebrate the task he had conquered.  I told him "Way to go!  You poured your water like a big boy!" and gave him a high five. 

 

 

 

 

Would I have always responded this way?  No.  I have to admit as a young parent or even as a new child care provider I tended to "sweat the small stuff."  Years ago I  probably would have said something about the mess and how we needed to clean it up.  The conversation would more than likely have also included a statement about "next time let me or your mom or dad help you."  

 

For young children the process is key.  It's through the process that they learn.  Process allows them to practice whatever skill they are trying to master.  That could be a fine or gross motor skill, a social skill, a problem solving skill or a conflict resolution skill.  I once read an article that said learning is an individual process.  If this is a true statement, which I believe it is, then we are providers must allow child-directed process to occur.

 

Take a moment to think about these questions.   Do you allow the children in your program to drive the bus?  Do you intervene or do you let them problem solve?  Are you willing to expand on something of interest to the children or is your day dictated by a schedule?  Do your parents understand the importance of the process vs. the product?  How can you help the children you serve fuel their fires?  When children think back about the time the spent with you, will they remember what they made or what they did? 

 





I.M.A.G.I.N.E.

As providers we can get bogged down with the day-to-day challenges we face:  parents who are late with payments, children that bite, family members who are less than supportive of our chosen profession, and a long list of other things too long to list.  Often when faced with the day-to-day issues we lose sight of the importance of our work.

To help myself remember the role I play as a provider I try to live my life by one simple word:  Imagine.  In my life imagine stands for "I make a genuine impact - NO exceptions!"  This reminds me that whatever I say or do has an impact on the children in my care.

Every once in a while a child comes a long who makes a strong impact on us.  For me that was Madi.  Madi came to our program as a brand-new, six week old little bundle of adorable.  From the first moment I held her I was hooked.  I knew she was one of those children I would never forget.  What I didn't realize at that moment was that I would be a person in her life whom she would not forget.

Madi was in our program until she was old enough to go off to kindergarten.  The weeks leading up to her leaving were hard on all of us.  There would be days where there were tears, days there was laughter, and days where we just spend quiet time together.  After she started Kindergarten she would call us just to check in - let us know how school was going for her and see how things were going for us.

One night during a Parent's Night Out event at our child care our doorbell rang.  I opened the door to find Madi's bright, smiling face.  Madi's mom apologized for not calling but explained Madi had made something for me and wanted to surprise me with it.

This picture was my gift.  I took it from her speechless.  Madi had no way of knowing that I had just finished a particularly difficult child care week and was actually questioning whether or not what I did truly made an impact.  With one small gesture she reminded me that everything I did was for a reason.  It was the answer I needed - yes I do make a difference!

In these uncertain times in the early care and education field it is more important than ever that we as providers remember that we do make a difference!  We touch the lives of the future everyday.  Everything we say, everything we don't say, everything we do, everything we don't do, makes an impact.  The questions we need to ask ourselves everyday are, "Did we make a positive impact?  A lasting impact?  Did we do all we can do to be the best provider we can be for the children in our care?"

"B" Word not Allowed!

I don't know about you, but there are definitely names that I do not like to be called.  One name in particular actually drove me to name this blog, "B" Word not Allowed!  

When I was a teenager the "B" word didn't bother me.  It didn't bother me as I grew up.  Didn't bother me when I got married.  Didn't bother me when I became a mother.  To be honest it never bothered me until....I became a family child care provider.

Once I became a family child care provider, everything changed.  It seemed like everyone was calling me the "B" work - my family, my friends, former colleagues, people at my church, and most shockingly other family child care providers! Had I just never noticed how frequently the word was used?  Had I in fact turned into the "B" word?  Had I always been the "B" word?  When did I become the "B" word?  

With deep thought and soul searching I had to admit, yes I was indeed, the "B" word.  It started when I was 13.  It went on for years and I was very, very good at it.  In fact I was probably the best in my neighborhood.  I also realized that while I might have been a "B" word when I was a teenager, I am certainly no "B" word any longer!  

The "B" word I am referring to is babysitter.  As a provider do you do everything you can to remove that word from the vocabulary of your family, your friends, the families in your child care program, decision makers - from your own vocabulary? 

It is up to us as family child care providers, to educate those around us about our profession.  Do they realize everything we are required to do to be a provider?  While not all states are the same I can speak to what is required in my own state. 

• I am required to be licensed
• I must pay a fee to be licensed
• I must be CPR/First Aid certified
• I must have 30 hours field related training hours every two years
• I am inspected by DFS twice a year
• I am inspected by the Fire Marshall each year
• I am inspected by the Department of Health and Sanitation every year
• I am inspected 3 times a year by the CACFP program

This is just a portion of the things I do as a family child care provider.  Am I complaining about this - no.  I am merely pointing out that the average person does not realize everything that goes into being a provider.  It is up to us to help them understand that family child care is a profession.  If we don't take the time to educate those around us, it will not happen.  Take time to instill a "B" Word not Allowed! policy in your life.  Let's work together to elevate our profession!