Epiphany or Exhaustion?



Do you ever feel like you are too tired to do child care anymore?  Be a parent anymore?  I went through a period of time thinking that.  A situation would arise and I would think to myself, "no big deal - no one's bleeding, there's no danger, does this really matter?" and I would let the situation unfold without intervention.  As time went on I noticed situations like this happening more and more frequently.  I began to think, "Wow have I just stopped caring?  Should I be looking for a new career?" and then one day I had an EPIPHANY!  It wasn't that I was too tired to intervene or worry about the situations, I had learned to appreciate the process vs. the product. 

Understanding the importance the process plays in child development is something all child care providers should know and incorporate into their programs.  It's important to watch for opportunities to let the children "drive the bus" (Note:  It's okay to let the children drive the bus :) but not the pigeon!    If you don't understand this statement let me know and I'll explain it because you are missing out!)

One of the most recent opportunities I had to let a child take the lead involved my grandson.  This is Rowan and he is one and a half.

 

 

The other night Rowan was drinking out of a large, tall water bottle.  After taking a few swigs he disappeared into the kitchen.  Moments later he returned with the water bottle and a small glass.  As his mom, dad and I watched he sat the glass down on my living room floor and quickly began to pour the water from the bottle into the glass.  Needless to say, gravity took over and the water came swooshing out, overshot the glass and made a puddle on the carpet.  He was so focused on the task at hand he didn't notice the puddle but readjusted the angle of the bottle and successfully filled the glass, handed the water bottle to his dad and took a drink from the glass.

 

At that moment he looked up at the three of us with a look of accomplishment on his face.  His dad went to the kitchen and brought back paper towels and started cleaning up the puddle.  As he watched his dad clean up the puddle the expression on his face became concerned.  It was clear to see he was starting to feel bad for what had happened.  In that split second I had the opportunity to celebrate his accomplishment and fuel his sense of accomplishment or I could intensify the sense of embarrassment and uncertainty that was building.  I decided to celebrate the task he had conquered.  I told him "Way to go!  You poured your water like a big boy!" and gave him a high five. 

 

 

 

 

Would I have always responded this way?  No.  I have to admit as a young parent or even as a new child care provider I tended to "sweat the small stuff."  Years ago I  probably would have said something about the mess and how we needed to clean it up.  The conversation would more than likely have also included a statement about "next time let me or your mom or dad help you."  

 

For young children the process is key.  It's through the process that they learn.  Process allows them to practice whatever skill they are trying to master.  That could be a fine or gross motor skill, a social skill, a problem solving skill or a conflict resolution skill.  I once read an article that said learning is an individual process.  If this is a true statement, which I believe it is, then we are providers must allow child-directed process to occur.

 

Take a moment to think about these questions.   Do you allow the children in your program to drive the bus?  Do you intervene or do you let them problem solve?  Are you willing to expand on something of interest to the children or is your day dictated by a schedule?  Do your parents understand the importance of the process vs. the product?  How can you help the children you serve fuel their fires?  When children think back about the time the spent with you, will they remember what they made or what they did?