Two of the best definitions I have found for the word friend are:
1. one attached to another by affection
2. a favored companion
One of the things I enjoy in child care is watching
children develop relationships and friendships with other children in my
program. It happens all the time but occasionally
there is a friendship that begins and lasts way beyond child care.
A few years ago I had two little girls in my child care
program that both stated at birth ( for confidentiality reasons we will call them Abbi and Logan.) Both girls started in our program when they were babies and were a part of our
program until they entered kindergarten. They
did tummy time together, they learned to sit up together, they learned to walk
together, they learned to talk together - they learned everything together. Their friendship began as early as a friendship can begin and as the years passed it became clear they were best friends.
All of the children in our program knew they
were best friends as did their families. While there were occasional play dates outside of our
program, they did not live in the same neighborhood and their parents did
not socialize outside of child care so they had very limited opportunities to
spend time together other than the when they were at child care.
Time ticked by and it was soon time for the girls to head off to kindergarten. As kindergarten approached they would have long talks about
the plans they were making to see each other after Miss Sue’s. They did not completely understand that they would not
be going to the same kindergarten or that they would not see each other every
day. As their last days in child care
approached their families and I all tried to help make it a smooth
transition. As expected there were tears
on their last day when they realized they would not be sharing their lives in
the same way. Both girls went off to
kindergarten and their days at our program became memories.
One day after Christmas break Abbi’s mom called me and said she
wanted to tell me a story. Abbi and Logan had not seen each other since starting school. Abbi had just received a picture in the mail from Logan. Logan had dictated a note to her mother which was to be included in with
the picture. The gist of the note was, “Here
is a picture I made for you because I miss you very, very, very, much! You will always be my best friend! Love, Logan” After Abbi’s mom read the note
to Abbi she began to cry. Not just a
little cry or a pretend cry, but a deep cry one would associate with loss. Abbi’s
mom explained that while she knew how close the girls were, she truly didn’t
understand how close they were until that moment. She had not taken the time to look at the
situation from the girls’ point of view.
They had spent 40+ hours per week together for five years. and then suddenly nothing. After she calmed Abbi down she
called Logan’s mom and explained what had happened. They scheduled the first of many play
dates. The best friends were reunited.
As a child care provider I totally understand the importance of social development and relationship building in children birth to five. I've always tried to share information with the parents in my program about important relationships their child has developed in our program. One of the ways I have shared that information is by providing parents opportunities to see their children socialize with the other children in my program. We all know that certain
parents drop off at certain times and pick up at certain times. If they don’t happen to have the same work
schedule it is quite possible they never run into each other. With this in mind I have always scheduled
family events in my program so that parents can see their children at play and
socializing with the children they spend 8, 9, or more hours per day with. It provides parents an opportunity to see how
much other children mean to their child.
Do you share relationship information with the parents in your program? Do you provide family events in your program? Do you understand the depth of friendship that can develop in young children? Who are friends in your program? What do you do to foster friendship in your program?
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